inspiring grace

i've been at a conference for the last two days related to leadership for new ways of learning.  today one of the presentations was about spiritual leadership, charism, and mission.  i was inspired to do some research on my new school and its own charism when i got home, and wouldn't you know...i found so many interesting things!

1. our charism actually originates in two places.  first, with our patron saint, rose of lima, who was of the dominican order of st. cecilia.  second, with the nuns who teach in our school (who started our school) are the sisters of providence, whose foundress was st. mother theodore guerin.

2.  the characteristics of these beloved nuns and saints include:

-trust in God's loving Providence

-giving of oneself to God and others in works of love, mercy, and justice

-seeking strength in God in the face of difficulty

-reaching beyond oneself; awareness of the needs in the world

-joyful spirit

-courage; risk-taking

-love of the cross; redemption in suffering

-pride in and loyalty to community

-simplicity; detachment; poverty

3.  and i'll leave you with two inspiring quotes that i came across...

"Breaking boundaries, creating hope"

"Without the burden of afflictions, it is impossible to reach the height of grace."

grace-filled beginnings

new look for a new beginning...i love the birds!  to be perfectly honest, i've never really liked birds, but in the last month or so have had several strange encounters with them, and therefore am beginning to feel an affinity- especially toward small chickadees that seem to be able to say so much, just be tilting their heads a certain way!

so, much has happened since my last post.  the biggest news is that i am now employed!  no contract or paycheck yet, but my picture and bio were in the church bulletin last week, so that's gotta count for something, right?  :)  i am so thrilled to know that i am the new leader of a school community that undoubtedly has a great deal to teach me, but also one which my heart is burning with a desire to serve.  i already know that the road ahead is filled with challenges, but i also know that i can choose how to respond to those challenges, and that my response will affect others' responses.  there is without a doubt a need for great changes, but there is also much to celebrate and maintain.

i am many things right now- anxious, apprehensive, thrilled, excited, uncertain...but mostly grateful.  it took a long time to get to this point, which makes it all that sweeter to know that this is where i am supposed to be.  i have already been welcomed with open arms into this community, and the outgoing principal has really taken me under her wing and done her best to tell me and show me everything she can so that i don't come in blind.

i have been reading a book by henri nouwen lately called Can You Drink the Cup? and it is really challenging me to think about not only this specific ministry of school leadership that i have been called to, but the greater calling of being a christian.  it is based on the passage in the 20th chapter of the gospel according to matthew where Jesus asks James and John, "Can you drink the cup that I am going to drink?"  nouwen proposes three actions, the last of which is the actual drinking.  first comes holding, then lifting, and finally, drinking.  he takes these actions from what Jesus does on the night of the Last Supper.  i guess what i am most taking from this so far is how NOT easy it is to do this task that we are called to do; to drink the same cup that Jesus drank.  and knowing how challenging it can be, to make the decision and the commitment over and over again to hold, lift, and drink- is nothing short of amazing, and absolutely requires grace.

i feel a bit as if i am all over the place in this post, and i apologize.  my mind has been spinning as in the past week i have received over 30 emails from the principal i am replacing, i have spent a day with my new staff doing professional development, i have said goodbye to my old staff and mentor, finished the year at my old school, said goodbye to our beloved family dog, and attended a conference.  it's all beginning to happen so fast, and it will require a significant amount of grace from God and self-control on my part to keep it from spinning out of control before the school year even actually begins!  i am going home next week to just relax a bit and hang out with my family, so that should be a nice bridge from my life as a student to my life as a principal!  hopefully i can come back rejuvenated and ready to get to work building God's kingdom here on earth!  (what a task!)     

grace to have courage

i know God has given me some wonderful gifts, and i say that with a humble heart, but y'all- courage was not one of them.  in fact, you may as well just call me the cowardly lion.  we even both have curly hair.

i've been thinking about this a lot lately, and wishing i were braver, more courageous, more willing to do what needs to be done, no matter the consequence.  but i just think too much.  i weigh the options- and the consequences- and i get scared and nervous and talk myself out of it- whatever "it" is.  i wish i could think of a specific example, but it's not so much the big things as the little ones- the person who just needs to hear the truth, but you really don't want to be the one to tell them- the little change you could make in your life that might have a great impact, but you can't bring yourself to do it- the will to keep believing in the good when it seems like everywhere you turn, there is bad. 

i've been reading the help lately, kathryn stockett's first novel.  i love it, but i am warning all of you out there that are dealing with sadness in your lives- don't read it.  not yet.  there's a lot of sadness in this book.  that being said, some of the characters in this book are the most courageous women i've ever met.  okay, so technically i haven't actually met them, but you know what i mean.  it takes place in the 1960s in jackson, mississippi, and it is the story of the black women who go to work everyday for white women, cleaning their houses and raising their children.  beyond that, it is the story of them staring danger, violence, and even death in the face and refusing to be scared.  or maybe it's not so much that they're not scared, but rather that they are so tired of being silent and letting things go unquestioned that they suck up the fear and do what they think needs to be done- not as much for them as for their own children.  i read about these women and think about all of the people in this world throughout history who have had courage i dare not even dream of, and i am just in awe. 

i know the bible says to "be not afraid" and "be of good courage", and in my head, it makes sense that i have nothing to fear because God is walking beside me always and God's strength is my strength, but...but...

my dear friend kim was watching oprah not long ago and sent me this quote that she said: "i believe we're born into this world trailing grace."  i have been thinking about it ever since, knowing that i would eventually write about it.  i don't know what oprah meant by it, but to me, it means one of two things.  either grace is always just beyond us, something we can only dream of catching up with on our best days...or it's paving the way, giving us direction, beckoning us forward, and leaving traces of itself behind for us, to help us when we need it most.  i choose to believe the latter, which means there is always hope- and maybe tomorrow will bring with it just a little bit more courage than today.