grace in great design

tonight i was asked to take the second reading at mass for someone who couldn't be there.  it is actually one of my all-time favorite readings.  for those of you who aren't familiar, 1 corinthians 12-26 truly speaks volumes about not only our church, but our world.  to quote:

12	For just as the body is one and has many members, and all the members of the body, though many, are one body, so it is with Christ.
13	For by one Spirit we were all baptized into one body -- Jews or Greeks, slaves or free -- and all were made to drink of one Spirit.
14	For the body does not consist of one member but of many.
15	If the foot should say, "Because I am not a hand, I do not belong to the body," that would not make it any less a part of the body.
16	And if the ear should say, "Because I am not an eye, I do not belong to the body," that would not make it any less a part of the body.
17	If the whole body were an eye, where would be the hearing? If the whole body were an ear, where would be the sense of smell?
18	But as it is, God arranged the organs in the body, each one of them, as he chose.
19	If all were a single organ, where would the body be?
20	As it is, there are many parts, yet one body.
21	The eye cannot say to the hand, "I have no need of you," nor again the head to the feet, "I have no need of you."
22	On the contrary, the parts of the body which seem to be weaker are indispensable,
23	and those parts of the body which we think less honorable we invest with the greater honor, and our unpresentable parts are treated with greater modesty,
24	which our more presentable parts do not require. But God has so composed the body, giving the greater honor to the inferior part,
25	that there may be no discord in the body, but that the members may have the same care for one another.
26	If one member suffers, all suffer together; if one member is honored, all rejoice together.

how beautiful is that?  to think that as part of his great design, God made each of us dependent on one another as a whole.  we can only truly be ourselves in the context of community.  we are all connected- you to me to our brothers and sisters in haiti- and we should all feel one another's pain and celebrate one another's joys.  this sense of individuals united, of many parts but one body, is grace.  we are the body of Christ.  we are his hands and feet here on earth.  where do we walk?  whom do we touch?  may God give each of us the grace to live up to his great design.

grace in the rubble

i have been trying to figure out for the last few days how i can write about grace related to the horrific devastation in haiti.  the vast majority of my students during my two years of teaching here in boston were haitian american.  they have many family members still in haiti, and many of them go back once a year or more to see them.  they have been deeply shaken by the effects of the earthquake, the most recent in a long history of tough breaks that the country has been dealt- and possibly the worst.  of all countries - why haiti?  that's what i keep asking myself.  it would be horrible anywhere, but haiti is constantly struggling- to feed its people, to keep the peace- and now- now the entire city of port-au-prince is homeless.  the latest numbers are saying 100,000 people are dead.  many are still trapped and have not been found.  looting has begun in the streets.  aid is arriving, but there is no easy and systematic way to distribute it.  all of the hospitals are in ruins, along with the cathedral and all government buildings.  ignorant bigots like pat robertson have the audacity to claim that the people of haiti somehow had this coming because they "made a pact with the devil."  ARE YOU KIDDING ME????  these are the most beautiful, faithful, spiritual people i have ever known.

amidst all of the rubble, the death, the despair, people are singing, working together, praising God, and helping those that are worse off than they are.  these two pictures really struck me, because they show people seeing God amidst the rubble- on the cross, and in the form of Jesus' body in the Eucharist.  how powerful that this bread of life may be the only bread these people will eat today.  that is grace.  God is there, in the hearts of the people of haiti, and the hearts of all who are able to go help, and all who are doing what they can from their homes around the world.  tragedy is always sad- and this tragedy is quite frankly, disturbing, upsetting, and disheartening at the deepest levels.  but even there- perhaps more noticeably there than in everyday life, God's grace is at work.

but for the grace of God go i

heard these lyrics by keith urban on the radio today:


"I can hear the neighbors
They're arguin' again
And there hasn't been peace on our street
Since who knows when
I don't mean to listen in
But the shoutin' is so loud
I turn up the radio to drown it out
And silently I say a little prayer

But for the grace of God go I
I must've been born a lucky guy
Heaven only knows how I've been blessed
With the gift of your love
And I look around and all I see
Is your happiness embracing me
Oh Lord I'd be lost
But for the grace of God

I can see that old man
He's walking past our door
And I've been told that he's rich
But he seems so poor
'Cause no one comes to call on him
And his phone it never rings
He wanders through his empty home
Surrounded by his things
And silently I say a little prayer, yes I do

But for the grace of God go I
I must've been born a lucky guy
Heaven only knows how I've been blessed
With the gift of YOUR love
And I look around and all I see
Is your happiness embracing me
Oh Lord I'd be lost
But for the grace of God"

how true!  as a single gal, i'm very fond of reading between the lines of love songs and finding ways to apply them to my life, even though i'm not in a romantic relationship.  there are so many people that have blessed me with the gift of their love, and it is such a good reminder to me whenever i get down on myself or on my life: no matter what i may not have, i need to think about what i DO have, which is many people in my life that make it a true gift, worth living, even on the toughest days.  

have you ever experienced a near-tragedy or near-accident?  i feel like these happen to me ALL THE TIME.  just today, a crazy bostonian cut off several people in traffic on my way home from school and i had to slam on my brakes to avoid a huge crash.  when it was over, i realized my hands were cramping from gripping the steering wheel so tight, my stomach was in knots, my teeth were gritting, and my heart had stopped.  my first reaction should have been to say a prayer of gratitude.  instead, i cursed at the driver who caused the mayhem.  my second thought was, "but for the grace of God go i".  

even on ordinary days, which are really not so ordinary at all, we can all say, "but for the grace of God go i."  we are not here by chance, and we are not here because we deserve it.  we are here because of grace. 

grace in the new year

i had a small yet powerful experience of grace yesterday. 

to give you a bit of background, my dad's parents have lived in raleigh for my whole life.  i have countless wonderful memories with them, but in the last five years or so, my grandma's health has declined slowly.  it started with her legs and having to use a walker after a hip replacement, then that slowly turned into a wheelchair.  she has lost the use of her hands and slowly her speech as well.  the only real way that she can still communicate is by blinking- once for yes, twice for no.  it's very hard to watch my once gorgeous, headstrong, refined and hilarious matriarch crumpled up in a wheelchair, unable to tell us how she's feeling or what's wrong.  as frustrating and sad as it is for us, i can only imagine that it's heartbreaking for my granddad, and worst of all for my grandma herself.  she must feel trapped inside a body that no longer works for her.  how often we take our bodies for granted!  

anyway, yesterday, mom, dad, and i went up to raleigh to take down christmas decorations and have dinner with grandma and granddad.  it was to be my last visit before flying back to boston.  all day i had been trying to rub her arms and kiss her cheek and show her how much i loved her, but not once did i get any response from her; she usually just closed her eyes.  it seems like she's always tired these days.  

after dinner, my mom was talking to grandma's nurse about my school and the work i am hoping to do.  she mentioned casually that i "learned everything i needed to know from grandma", to which i added, "everything important anyway!" and started recalling experiences that we shared with her as kids.  as i mentioned the joy of having your hair shampooed in the kitchen sink, her face just lit up; it was about as close as she could get to a smile...and to me, it was pure grace.  it will be the memory that i will carry until i see her again, however long that may be.  thank you, grandma, for all the lessons you've taught me over the years, and all the joy you've brought to my life.  and thank you, God, for this gift of grace as we begin a new year!

a picture of me and grandma six years ago at christmas: 

leaving room for grace

one of my professors says that all we can do is give our best, and then we have to leave room for grace to enter the given environment or situation.  sometimes we think we can just control everything, or that we have to control everything.  we make ourselves more important than we actually are.  we expect ourselves to make everything happen and assume that the world is going to end if we don't.  i'm talking about myself here as much as anybody else.  but guess what?  we're wrong!  the goodness that comes to us and others is grace, and grace is not of our doing.  when we think we can do it all, we need to take a step back and remember that grace is always acting on our behalf.  we need grace; our lives depend on it!

saying grace

usually when we talk about "saying grace", we mean the short blessing spoken before (occasionally after) a meal.  it is a practice that spans across cultures and among all religions.  giving thanks for the food about to be eaten, and remembering those who do not have food to eat.  it acknowledges the grace and sacred nature of breaking bread with others; of communion (from the Latin communio, sharing in common).  

how often we focus on our differences; on what makes us unique.  and by all means, those differences are beautiful and important.  but sometimes we focus so much on the differences that we fail to see the basic similarities that we share in common.  john f. kennedy, a perfectly imperfect leader in his own time and i would argue, throughout time, said that "Our most basic common link is that we all inhabit this planet.  We all breathe the same air.  We all cherish our children's future.  And we are all mortal."  

what else do we all share in common?  how can we bring that to the table the next time we "say grace"?     

moments of grace

just over the past few weeks when i have been home, i have experienced many moments filled with grace; gifts from God that i know i do not deserve. 

lunch with an old friend, holding a baby and knowing that all things are possible, sharing a delicious meal with my family (something i used to take for granted before i moved away)...moments of forgiveness, birth, rebirth, change, being called, giving of yourself, receiving others' true selves, witnessing miracles great and small...

i am sure that we experience these much more often than we even realize.  even the most seemingly ordinary of days, moments, lives...is actually extraordinary if we really look, listen, and feel with depth and care. 

i was reading my buddy buechner again this morning and his reflection for today (new year's day) says to "listen to your life.  See it for the fathomless mystery that it is.  In the boredom and pain of it no less than in the excitement and gladness: touch, taste, smell your way to the holy and hidden heart of it because in the last analysis all moments are key moments, and life itself is grace."