Sunday, June 17, 2012

you see all my light and you love my dark

i never really thought of alanis morissette as a spiritual/religious singer, but i was listening to this song today and heard it in a different way.  i listened to it as if she were singing to God.  and i started to think how true and how beautiful it is that even though i am so very imperfect - moody and negative and passive-aggressive and mistrusting and dull - even when i am a baby and yes, an ***hole, to use the words from her song, even in my darkest moments when my actions are far, far away from what they should be, God digs everything.  everything.  this is the true meaning of unconditional love.  not choosing to only love parts, but loving the whole.  light and dark.  good and bad.  loving the paradoxes.

God loves me, light and dark.

and God loves you, light and dark, too.

i don't love my dark.  i try really hard not to think about my dark and to stay busy trying to do things to make the world less dark.  but part of self-awareness and living a reflective life is acknowledging that we all have both, and that is what makes us human.  it's funny, i always thought of this song as a love song, between two humans.  but i'm starting to think of it as a love song from humans to our maker.  actually, if you watch the video, at one point she writes "thank you" on a piece of paper and turns it into a paper airplane and sends it flying up into the sky, almost like a love letter to God.

as we find ourselves at the end of another school year, i find myself grateful in many ways, for many reasons.  i owe "thank yous" to many people.  but most of all, i'd like to send a little thank you to my maker.  thank you, God, for always loving me, when i least deserve it, and for sending me your grace when i need it most.  i don't know if meister eckhart is right, but for now, they're the only words that suffice.

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