two years calls for new perspective

i just realized that i have now been keeping this blog for two years.  in those two years, i've only done 57 posts.  that's pretty pathetic in the blogging world.  at the rate i'm going, it'll take me at least another year to hit my 100th post.  originally when i realized this i thought, "that'll be my new year's resolution - to blog more frequently."  but i've been thinking more about it, and i think new year's resolutions should somehow help you to be a better person.  although it's possible that blogging more frequently would, in fact, help me to be more grateful and see more grace in my life, thereby making me a better person, that wasn't my intention when i made the resolution.  and if resolutions are about anything, they should be about good intentions, right?  

so with that in mind, in 2012, i resolve to care less about what other people think and expect.  at the end of the day, trying to live this one life i've got for anyone else is a recipe for misery, and i refuse to be miserable.  (note to reader: my life's work is for others - please don't misunderstand what i mean here.  i'm not saying i want to be more selfish or less caring.  i just want to have the courage to be authentic and find joy in that authenticity.)






i resolve to really think about the motivations behind the decisions i make and not do things just because someone else is doing them or because society makes me feel like i should be doing them.  i want to do things because they bring joy to the world.  i want to say things that are true, that have meaning, that make people think, make people smile.  i want to be intentional and not just go through the motions.

i resolve to stay positive, appreciative, and hopeful - even if it seems like there is no reason to.  i resolve to find the reason, every day.  and i resolve to find a reason to smile and/or laugh, every single day.  because life is funny and humor is good for the soul.  i realized recently that i don't laugh often enough.  i started reading this book by james martin, sj (a favorite) while i was home for the holidays.  it's all about the importance of laughter in the spiritual life.  makes sense, doesn't it?  laughter --> joy --> gratitude --> God.

"Give us grace and strength to forbear and to persevere."

-Robert Louis Stevenson

thick skin requires a lot of grace!

lately, i have felt like i needed one of these in my office:

it seems like either a) i can do nothing right, or b) nobody ever has anything to say about the things i do right; but they are very eager to complain and criticize the things i do wrong.

now, if you read my last post, you know that i probably care about this more than i should.  i choose to be a part of the world of education partly because i love attempting to improve the lives of children and their families, which i believe has a ripple effect in making the world a better place.  NOT because i want to make life more difficult for anyone (contrary to popular opinion).  and as much as i do know that constructive feedback can help in the areas of self-improvement, i'm sure that i'm not alone in the fact that i don't really enjoy hearing complaint after complaint after complaint.  whether or not i should, i do take it personally.  my work is personal to me.  i put everything i have into it, and get frustrated when others disagree with my efforts or assume that no thought went into them.

i remember when i was taking graduate classes that my professors frequently said, "you can't please everybody, and if you try, you will constantly feel like a failure."  this advice has come back to me perhaps when i need it most.  as much as i would love for everyone to be happy all the time, it just isn't realistic.  that isn't my job, either.  my job is to do the best i can to advance the mission of my school, and to make sure that it is alive and well.  everything we do, every decision we make, we ask ourselves, "is this in line with our mission?"  although we occasionally mess up, and frequently make decisions that people don't agree with, i do believe we are doing the best we can do.  when i was a kid, i had sign up in my room that looked like this:

i just came across another quote that struck me in perhaps a more adult, slightly less cliche way:

"to avoid criticism do nothing, say nothing, be nothing."

-elbert hubbard

so here i go, off to start the new year fresh - committed to doing something, saying something, and being something - even if it means taking criticism along the way.  God, please give me the gift of thick skin so that i can handle the criticism that will inevitably come in a graceful way.

grace in IMperfection

"John the Baptist appeared in the desert proclaiming a baptism of repentance for the forgiveness of sins."

-Mark 1:4

tonight's homily hit me hard.  father john made the connection between this idea of repentance, of changing our hearts (something we usually associate with lent more readily than advent), and the disease of perfectionism.  my ears immediately perked up because i just lost someone in my life this past week partly because of my own perfectionism (there were definitely other factors as well).  funny how sometimes God has quite the sense of humor as he sends us messages exactly when we most need to hear them.


i'm sure, like anything else, there is a spectrum of perfectionism.  i'm also sure i'm not at the very end of it.  i'm also pretty sure i'm closer to one end than the other, and it's got me thinking very seriously about what lies at the heart of it all.  i'd like to think that it's about having high standards - for myself and others - driven by a determination to do the very best i can with what i've been given.  although that may be true, the not-so-pretty truth is that it also probably has a little something to do with ego.  i don't like to be wrong.  i don't like to disappoint.  ask my mom - the only imperfect mark i ever received on a report card growing up was under "accepts criticism favorably."  my teachers frequently noted that i "needed improvement" in that department because i would burst into tears at the slightest hint that i was performing at a less-than-perfect level.  i have heard that ego stands for "ease God out", and as much as i hate to admit it, i feel like there is definitely truth to it.


i've been doing a little research since i got home from mass, and here is some of what i've found so far:  wanda alger writes about the sin of perfectionism.  while i don't believe everything she believes or everything she writes, a lot of what she had to say rang true for me.  she quotes the authors of the worn-out woman, a book i have not yet read, but am adding to my list.  warning:  these words sting!


“Perfectionists strive for the unattainable. They need to be first or best and try never to make a mistake, which they see as a sign of failure and unworthiness. Because of this, perfectionists are rarely happy. They frequently slip into depression and are often disappointed. Sometimes they’re so worn out by their own expectations that they fail to do anything at all...At the heart of perfectionism is fear – fear of making a mistake and being judged, fear of failure and rejection….At an even deeper level, perfectionism reveals a lack of faith. In a sense, perfectionism is really a way of playing God with our own lives. Instead of trusting God to keep His promise to redeem us and mature us, instead of walking in obedience, we try to preempt His work and get is right without His help.” (pp. 48-49)

yikes.  back to father john.  his point (one of them, anyway) was that none of us is perfect, and God doesn't ask us to be.  God asks us to use our gifts as we are able, but most importantly, to have faith and to love.  to love is to forgive, and if we are to forgive others, we must first find a way to forgive ourselves and be okay with not being perfect.  powerful stuff.  a movie has been rewinding itself through my mind of all the times i've held grudges or haven't truly forgiven others or haven't loved them as they were but instead have been disappointed that they weren't more.  why can't they give more?  care more?  try harder?  understand better?  be more generous?  accept that they aren't always right?  at the end of the day, it probably was never about them.  it was probably me projecting my own stuff onto them.  this balance between not being so critical but maintaining high expectations and not settling for mediocrity is one that i am sure i will not achieve anytime soon.  it is an ongoing battle, and not one that i can fight alone.  the good news, of course, is that i don't have to.

"He said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for power is made perfect in weakness.' I will rather boast most gladly of my weaknesses, in order that the power of Christ may dwell with me.  Therefore, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and constraints, for the sake of Christ; for when I am weak, then I am strong."

-Corinthians 2: 9-10

"grace to you...

...and peace from God our father and the Lord Jesus Christ.  i give thanks to my God always on your account..."
-1 Corinthians 1:3


happy thanksgiving, all!  i am so thankful for each and every one of you.  God is good - always.

untitled

i don't know what to call this post.  i just don't have words for this.


last week, one of my former students was found dead in her bedroom.  her death is being ruled an accident; it appears she was experimenting with huffing, and it went terribly wrong.  she was a junior in high school, had perfect attendance, and was on the honor roll.


i'm sure grace is here somewhere - in the outpouring of love and support of the community for her family - but it's hard to see through the incredible sadness that i feel, the sense of loss of one of my lovelies, and the utter helplessness that i feel, wishing there were something i could have done to keep it from happening.


carmen elena romero, you were a beautiful light in my life and the lives of all your other fifth grade classmates, as well as i'm sure many more.  your life was short but deep.  i hope you know how much you were loved.  


miss k

to live by grace

"to live by grace means to acknowledge my whole life story, the light side and the dark.  in admitting my shadow side i learn who i am and what God's grace means."

-brennan manning

my parish bulletin published an article about this guy and his book, all is grace, this week.  i haven't read the book yet, but i really want to after reading this article.  this guy sounds like he gets it.  his main message is this:  God loves you as you are, not as you should be.  that word "should" is so tricky.  it is such a little word and yet, it has so many connotations for expectations and generalizations and judgments and leaves very little room for loving, which is what God is all about.  at least, in my eyes.

we need grace to be able to stop with the "shoulds" and focus on loving more completely, more freely.  life isn't always pretty.  and it doesn't always make sense.  and the same can certainly be said about faith and jesus and christianity.  i mean, it's all pretty crazy - the story of the prodigal son, the savior of the world fulfilling a dying criminal's request as he breathes his own last breath, this whole idea of loving one's enemies - a totally backwards, totally upside-down, totally revolutionary approach to life.  and yet, this messiness changed the world.  it is the stuff we claim to believe, claim as most important and most valuable.  this messiness is where we become real.  it's where we let our guard down.  it's where we learn to love without counting the cost.  it's where we are able to give compassion because it has been given to us.  it's where we find the grace we need to carry on, to accept God's love for us as we are, and to attempt to love others as they are.  this messiness is beautiful.

i saw the movie, the way, recently.  it's a beautiful, messy story about a man's attempt to make a journey his son died trying to make.  along the way, he grieves for his son's life, heals the wounds in their broken relationship, and rediscovers his faith and himself.  for most people who see this movie, that is all it is.  a beautiful, messy story.  for me, it's much more than a story.  it's a road i have walked.  i don't mean that my son died - i don't even have a son.  but the path this man walked, el camino de santiago, is a path i have walked three times now.  as i was watching the movie, it was like being right there again, re-living each familiar place, each familiar character, each familiar experience.  i was overcome with emotion because my heart longs deeply to return to that place in the world where i feel God's presence so strongly and feel most myself, most at peace.  life is not making this possible for me right now; and i know in my head that the camino is nothing if it isn't a metaphor for the great journey of life, and that my journey is just here right now.  and a part of me feels sheepish and selfish for craving such an experience that could only be a luxurious dream for so many, which i have already experienced three times.  but my heart longs to be there, which tells me that i am not yet done with the camino, because i have yet to truly learn its greatest lesson: that all of its wisdom and all of its treasures are waiting to be found everywhere, if only we have the eyes to see them, and the desire to search for them.  i hope that someday when i have walked my last camino, i will feel so passionately for everyday life and God's presence in it that i will know in my heart that i don't need the camino to teach me anything else.  until that day comes, i will pray for all pilgrims on all journeys; may we realize the gifts before us each day and give back to God and to one another with generous spirits.

"we are pilgrims on a journey.  we are travelers on the road.  we are here to help each other walk the mile and bear the load."

-the servant song

grace in new relationships

it finally happened.


i finally met someone who makes me smile, who makes me feel beautiful, who believes in the work i do, who is a really good person, and who shares my faith.  


oh yeah, and he's Irish.  and we have a lot of the same dreams for the future.  and he's cheesier than i am.  i know, i know, didn't think that was possible!  


i feel like i've known him my whole life, and am so comfortable around him.  


he's wonderful.


thank you, God, for this special new addition to my life.  please grant me the grace not to mess it up!

letting go and letting God

i went on a retreat in college with this theme.  it was a much-needed message to me at that point in my life, and unfortunately, if i'm honest with myself, , it is a message i still need to hear, over and over again.  you see, i am by nature a control freak.  this whole notion of going with the flow, letting God work in God's mysterious ways, and letting things unfold naturally is one that is not only foreign to me, but one that i just really struggle with.  the irony of this is that over and over again in my life, things unfold more perfectly than i ever could have planned or my great plan ends disastrously, proving that God is indeed worthy of my trust and that my perceived notions of control are actually quite ridiculous, because even when i think i'm in control, there's always so much that is beyond my reach.  as you can imagine, this is definitely a challenge in my professional life, where i'm in a position of leadership and perceived control, and then even more so in my personal life.  the latest example of this is my sister's recent wedding.


although my sister and i have a lot in common, we are by nature very different people.  she is creative, artistic, spatial, and a dreamer.  i am concrete, logistical, a planner and a worrier.  so when i arrived less than a week before the wedding, there was a clear vision of the spirit and ambiance she wanted to be present on her special day, but not exactly a clear plan of how we were going to get there.  we sat down, created a spreadsheet, timelines for each day, and to-do lists galore.  i was feeling pretty darn great.

well, you know what they say about the best-laid plans.  flights started getting cancelled and postponed, people were nowhere to be found when they were needed, and things rapidly began to spiral out of anyone's control.  meanwhile, my sister just smiled, laughed, and embraced the beauty that was all the people she loves together in one place, finally.  she didn't get caught up in the details or the imperfections or the little bumps in the plan.  she was the epitome of a grace-filled bride.


and guess what?  it all came together.  it was beautiful.  it was better than we ever could have planned.


i still have a lot to learn.

appreciating the "other" (even when it seems impossible)

i think God has been challenging me lately and i have a feeling it's leading somewhere, but i have no idea where.  when i first moved up north, one of my greatest joys was the realization that there are people in this world like me.  for most of my life growing up, i was surrounded by very conservative, very republican, very christian people.  i loved these people (and still do), but they constantly challenged me.  "how can you be catholic and a democrat?"  "if you're really a christian, you must believe everything the bible says exactly as it says it."  i was perpetually frustrated by a focus on a few isolated topics/issues, and what seemed like a very narrow worldview that limited me, limited thinking, and limited God.  thankfully, i was raised by parents who encouraged me to use my brain and my heart and my soul to seek truth and find my path and follow it in an authentic way.  and thankfully, in the sacrament of reconciliation one day in college, the priest encouraged me to learn more about the jesuits.  he told me i had a very "jesuit" way of thinking about things.  i had no idea what that meant at the time, but then i moved up north, found the jesuits, and found what felt like home - people who seemed a lot more open-minded, accepting, welcoming, loving.  i found an amazing church with a pastor who radiates jesus' greatest commandment: "love one another."  i have found that my mind, my heart, and my worldview have expanded immensely.  the danger here is that i have forgotten that feeling of being challenged by the other - by different approaches to faith, people, world.  i have grown comfortable in my safe haven of like-minded people.  two events recently occurred that shook me up a bit and served as probably necessary reality checks.

1.  i went to a different church with a friend of mine.  when i say different, i mean sooooo different.  i immediately didn't like it and didn't feel comfortable there.  it felt stiff, rigid, ultra-traditional.  for the first time in a long time (maybe ever), i really felt out of place in church.  sure, i've disagreed with a homily here or there, been less than impressed with the music selections, and dismayed by the lack of life in what seems to me should always be a tremendous celebration, but this was different from any of those other experiences.  i realized for the first time what i've heard people say often - that they don't go to church because they just feel judged and unwelcome.  but as i was sitting there, counting the minutes until i could leave, it hit me that i was now being close-minded and stuck-up, thinking my way was the only way.  it hit me that although this church didn't work for me, it clearly does work for many, and Jesus says, "in my father's house there are many dwelling places."  there is beauty in our diverse approaches to faith and religion, and it is beautiful that there is room for so many different approaches even within one religion.  most beautiful of all, God is so much bigger than any one approach, than any one way, than any one religion.  and in the end, it's not about me.  yikes!  quite a little dose of humble pie.

2.  my church has received some really negative publicity lately over a very controversial topic: homosexuality.  no, the priest isn't gay.  no, the church isn't encouraging people to be gay.  no, the church isn't speaking out against the institutional Church's teachings.  they just tried to have a Mass with the "All are Welcome" theme, to affirm the diversity that is our community of believers, including a substantial number of gay people.  some people who do not go to my church, who apparently disagree wholeheartedly that there is a place for everyone in our church, had a lot of hateful things to say about this, including some people in my personal and professional life who are good people, but really see this issue differently.  for me, it really comes down to the simple truth that Jesus accepted everyone; he shared meals with sinners and when he died, he died for all of us.  if he were here today, i am pretty sure he would not be closing the church doors to certain people or denying communion to certain people.  i believe my priest is doing what Jesus would do, and encouraging all of us to live Jesus' commandment to love one another.  in fact, i think if more priests were like him, our institutional Church would not have to be spending millions of dollars on a marketing campaign to get people to "come home."  of course, i have to remind myself that Jesus' commandment includes all "others", even the ones that i really struggle and disagree with.  


the challenge here for me is always to stay somewhat uncomfortable, to never be too set in my ways to appreciate other ways, and to find ways to have healthy conversations with those who disagree with me and preach the Gospel with my words and actions in ways that are life-giving and encouraging others to do the same.  this requires a LOT of grace at times, so holy spirit, please be with me - and others who are experiencing similar struggles!

ubi caritas et amor, deus ibi est

i have a confession to make.  holy thursday is my favorite part of the triduum.  i think you're probably not supposed to have a favorite part, or if you do, theologically it should be the easter vigil.  i do love the whole triduum, but there is something very special to me about re-membering the last supper, about gathering together around the table...yes, like we do every sunday, but in a more intentional and explicit way.  tonight we celebrate in a special way what it means to break bread together, to wash each other's feet, and to be the bread of life in the world.  who isn't moved by the image of jesus and his best friends sitting down, sharing a meal together- the most important meal of all?  but the beauty of it is that jesus invites us to share in this meal too - he calls all of us to the table.  

i love this re-creation of da vinci's last supper, which includes women and children.  it is by a polish artist named Bohdan Piasecki, and is not only supposed to be more historically accurate than da vinci's, but also sends a much more inclusive message.  all are welcome.  jesus offers his body and his blood for all of us- not just a select few.  

and about the whole feet-washing thing.  this is a beautiful ritual which i have seen done two different ways, both significant.  the church i grew up in selects twelve different people each year to have their feet washed by the pastor.  they do a good job of having a mixture of ages, races, gender, etc.  tonight they even washed a two-year-old's feet!   my current church has six stations set up, and everyone is invited to come up and have their feet washed, and then wash the next person's feet, until everyone has washed and been washed.  this takes a bit longer, but its symbolism just moves me to no end.  this is what jesus asks us to do in the real world every day!  do we live up to this call?
 

"If I, therefore, the master and teacher, have washed your feet,
you ought to wash one another’s feet.
I have given you a model to follow,
so that as I have done for you, you should also do."

-John 13:14-15

the epitome of grace

 this entry is a dedication to my beautiful grandma, Vivian Marie Watkins Keeton, who left this world to spend eternity with God last Tuesday, April 12.  it is, of course, impossible to say in words just how wonderful she was.  the memories i will carry with me forever of her are a hodge-podge collection of smells, tastes, events, and feelings.  

included among them are:

-her sweet southern accent.  i can hear as clearly as if she's in the next room how she would draw out my dad's one-syllable name to at least three syllables when leaving messages on the answering machine.  

-her love of God's green earth - the mountains, the beach, flowers and plants of every kind, and birds- especially hummingbirds.  

-her love of family.  she was never happier than when she was surrounded by her children and grandchildren.  this love was often expressed by the amazing food she would spend hours preparing for us...country ham, fried chicken, sausage biscuits, pot roast (keetons are not vegetarians!)

-she was a true "steel magnolia" - (according to urban dictionary, "a southern woman who is strong and independent but still very feminine").  whenever i am at her house and see the giant magnolia tree in the backyard, i will think of her - tall, strong, and beautiful.  she was such a lady - always dressed to impress, with jewelry, makeup, and matching shoes.  she always wore an apron to cook so as not to ruin whatever she was wearing (not sure i've ever worn an apron to cook?!).  i remember many shopping trips to the mall, shampoos in the kitchen sink, and nail painting extravaganzas.

i already inherited her middle name, but if i could hope to have inherited any of grandma's wonderful qualities, i would dare to wish...
-to be as  generous in spirit and as caring as she was...for all plants, animals, and people.
-for the love she shared with my granddad for 67 years.
-for just one ounce of her talent in the garden and the kitchen.

grandma vivian, you are missed more than words can say.  how blessed am i to have called you mine for 29 years, and to have a grandma it is so hard to say goodbye to.  
love and mooches, caitlin

Blessed be the tie that binds our hearts in Christian love; 

the fellowship of kindred minds is like that to that above.

grace in unexpected encounters

the most amazing thing just happened to me.  after being at a workshop all day, i was driving home, and an old friend popped into my mind.  i hadn't seen her since before christmas, and i remember thinking, "i wonder if she's out running right now."  i strategically took a certain route home that i knew she sometimes ran, and no sooner had the thought crossed my mind when, low and behold, there she was!  i slammed on my brakes, laid on my horn, and pulled over like a crazy woman.  i can't even express the sheer joy in encountering her as she happened to be on her way to class (she's a grad student).  she had a few minutes, came and sat in my front seat, and we caught up as much as two friends can in ten minutes.  but it was the most wonderful ten minutes, and we have dinner plans for next week.  how amazing!  oh how i wish this was how life always worked...i imagine something and all of a sudden, it becomes reality!  talk about a quickly answered prayer!  thanks, God, for the perfect surprise!

birthday graces

as another birthday approaches, i find myself yet again overcome with gratitude for this wonderful journey i'm on.  i can't believe it's been 29 years!  since i just don't know if i'll have time on my actual birthday, and i found myself with a few free moments today, i thought i would go ahead and post early.  as has become tradition, i'll answer the birthday questions...a great way of looking back on the last year and ahead to the next!

1. Describe the day you were born.

Well, it was a cold day in March, in the mountains of North Carolina.  My poor mom had been in labor for thirty-three hours.  I just didn't want to come out.  Finally, I was born at about 9:00 in the morning- as my mom always said, "just in time for Sesame Street!"  My maternal grandparents were in Australia at the time, and my parents had to send them a telegram on the Great Barrier Reef!  This telegram is still in my baby book :)

2. Describe a favorite birthday.

I honestly have loved all of my birthdays.  I know that sounds like a cop-out, but really and truly, I can't think of one I didn't enjoy.  The one that is coming to mind right now for some reason is my 21st.  I was obsessed with the color pink during my college years, and my best friend managed to sneak into my dorm room while my roommate and I went out for breakfast.  I came back to pink streamers, pink balloons, and pink daisies!  I remember being so excited to wear a new pair of pink pants that I had recently bought to celebrate the day in style.  My dad came up to Boone and took me out to lunch for my first beer.  My friends all drove up to Blowing Rock so that we could go to Outback and have fun drinks since Boone was still a dry town and didn't have a liquor license.  There were birthday hats, balloons, and all.  We were decked out.  I remember looking around the table and being truly overwhelmed by the dear friends who were there to celebrate me.  So fun.  

3. What will you remember about the last year?

-i survived the awful process known as the job search.

-i spoke at commencement/graduated with my 2nd master's degree!

-i finally found the right job for me, one where my school's needs align practically perfectly with my gifts and vice versa.  cue my becoming the youngest principal in the archdiocese.

-mom and will came to boston last summer to help me get situated at school.

-i bought a new car!

-several friends had weddings and babies.

-two more caitlins moved into our house.

-several precious lives ended far too soon.

-i spent a wonderful week at home with my whole family over christmas.

-my sister got engaged!

4.  What are you looking forward to in the coming year?

-finishing my first year as a principal and having the chance to do it better next year.

-my sister's wedding!

-the countless blessings unknown to me today that God has in store!

it's a great day to be alive!

grace in needs met

today, it hit me like a brick wall.  God has this uncanny way of knowing what i need and when and how.  i know, i know...duh.  but i forget sometimes, so let me just share with you a few examples currently in my mind:

• yesterday, i had an awful encounter with a teacher.  i mean, awful.  went in my office and cried afterward.  went home and went straight to bed so i wouldn't have to think about it anymore.  today, the opportunity presented itself to speak with her.  i could sense the tension, and i can't stand tension.  i had no idea what i would say or how she would respond, but i am telling you, God must have known i needed it, and that conversation was the best, most honest, most real, most healing conversation i've had all year.
• this morning, i feel like i all i did was put out fires and field complaints.  this is not the stuff great days are made of.  feeling worn out, trampled on, and exausted (before prior conversation), all of a sudden one of my teachers (who reminds me of my mom) came in and asked me how i was and if there was anything she could do to help.  just like my mom.  exactly what i needed at that moment in time.

• and the kicker...shhh...don't tell anyone...but i am TIRED!  i know, if i love my job (which i do), i shouldn't complain because there are a lot of people out there who would give anything for a job, but i am oh so tired right now, and really needing a break.  cue february vacation, the greatest invention ever to all new england teachers!  cue rest and quality time with a dear friend in a warmer climate.

thank you, God, for always being right on cue.  amazing grace!

grace in a new year

it's hard to believe i've been keeping this blog for a year now!  i remember starting it when i was home last year for Christmas vacation, and now here we are, starting anew yet again.  my favorite part about january is the hope that comes with new beginnings.  the chance to start over, do better, be more of who we are meant to be.  of course, we don't have to wait for january for a fresh start.  our loving God offers it to us any time we truly desire it.  he knows how perfectly imperfect we are and loves us all the same.  for me, in this coming year, 2011, i hope to really work on developing healthier eating habits, exercising on a regular basis, and managing my budget well enough to actually start saving.  i plan to continue this blog, not so much for you (although i hope those of you who read it do enjoy it), but because it is a great way for me to really try to seek God on a daily basis, and in everyday occurrences where he might otherwise go unnoticed.  on bad days, i love looking back on all of the ways God has graced my life- and realizing how blessed i am- when i open my eyes to see it!  with this new year came a massive snow storm- more snow than i've ever seen in my life!  talk about a chance to start fresh!